Me and You

I always thought I wrote most beautifully in English not Arabic and I’ve been writing in Arabic so much, abandoning writing English…

I think it has something to do with me being a coward in the core…

Too scared what will come out if I open up myself truly and let my fingers go!

But here we go…

I’m gonna rise, somehow I choose to rise…

It’s my choice and I’m making a conscious one.

I’ll write more and again, I’ll get my travelling plans back on track and yes looks like Tehran in the Spring…

Won’t that be lovely?

Yes…

I’ll work in silence and get back to the start.

To the books…

To my books…

To my dream that was simply to make a place home enough to call my own…

And I will…

I will.

Without realizing I became a secondary character in my own story feeling content in stealing the part of the heroine every once in a while in other people’s sagas…

I realized that truly to be true to myself I need to be my own heroine in my own tale and everyone else needs to win their roles in my story…

So that’s the way it will be from now on…

I’m gonna ask for help and actually allow it in…

And I’m gonna do my very best to tell the stories that I seek as they take place, one by one, little by little tell all the stories…

I’m gonna still love hard and true…

I’ll still fight for the hopeless and let myself go for them in and out of time…

And it’s not about me being my own salvation or about someone being it, it’s about us being each others…

And it’s gonna be okay…

Truly Okay…

Just I and You wait and See…

And the truth is this is not only for me, this is also written to and on behalf of a very close love of mine…

We’re gonna be okay…

We’re gonna write the world better and we’re gonna fix ourselves, cause we’re good for the world…

We’re very good for the world, despite of our own selves…

We stop and we take time to listen…

We ache for everyone, each and every last one…

And a soul that aches this true can never truly go wrong…

And so for you and me, I dedicate this too…

I wanted to be selfish and it was time for me to try just a little for my own sake to be but then I saw your face after you came back from the bathroom in the opera after throwing up and I thought this is not for me…

Not only me, this is for me and you.

And I keep thinking I was supposed to go to you that day and give you الحضن الكبير…

I apologize if I hurt you on my quest to finding me…

And I will always love you.

Always…

You see you have to look at your life with your heart and figure out who you truly care about, who you truly love…

And for whom you’d honestly and sincerely die without a regret…

Get hit for, take a bullet for…

And I would gladly for you…

For that and so much more I’m here telling you that we’re gonna be okay =)

Despite of ourselves.

Despite of our own selves…

 

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