The Dark Side… of the Gifted

The tragedy of writers… They love their words more than they love the humans that inspired them. Thing is most of the time we lose sight of what’s true and important… We lose the hearts of the people we loved… of the people who loved us… We lose serenity and we become mortal but the love… the emotions… the words will forever live.

It’s the price entertainers pay. For we have to admit at the very end of each and every day all we bloody ever did and will ever do is simply entertain…

People – audience – as you might prefer to call them so as not to stray your thin and ashy conscious gobble up our letters… our intimacy… our memories… with such hunger… such absolute lust that it’s actually quite scary most of the time.

We never quite can comprehend how much our words are needed… are craved for till a little twenty something comes along and ravishes upon us mesmerized and says, “You spoke of me with words, I didn’t possess…”

After you chew on it a while and it loses most of it’s flavor you realize that you’re not so special after all… What you went through… What you experienced… is nothing out of the ordinary…

The only difference is that the almighty bestowed to you a gift of expression… of words.

People can use your vocabulary and they’ll sound no more than a common ramble but you speak… you open your smart ass mouth… and the world makes sense.

You start to wonder why me?! Why do I have to loose, to hurt, to feel so much pain… In order for one soul to cry out, “I’m not alone in the world.”

For loneliness my friend is beyond underrated…

They say, “Why me?” is no more than an act of questioning God but cut the damn golden gal with the Persian finger tips some slack, will ya?

Then these times come along when you throw the, “Why me?” line at the loved one you think will tolerate and understand.

It blows you away to find out that he doesn’t, that they don’t…

Then you start thinking may be it’s not just a gift of expression…

Maybe it’s more of a gift of understanding… of accepting… of feeling!

Of simply allowing yourself to be consumed with and by it – no matter what “it” is – To drown you need faith at least enough to be sure that something or someone will pull you up before your last breath…

We stop writing when we lose our faith, that someone will show up and pull us out before we go away and our words are buried forever.

If you’re a believer, you believe in God… But even if you were an atheist really, you’ll just put your faith in people instead…

The mother of all cliches, “Keep the Faith,” isn’t really a cliche at all… Cause without it we would drown in our own blood… in our own words…

“I write to kill the memories that won’t go away… On paper it’s simply cleaner, since I can’t bare the sight of blood…”

“I write to move on… to move through… to move beyond… The joy before the tears…”

“I write to impress… to withstand… to topple and wobble… the useless and empty.”

“I write to relive the good and put away the bad…”

“I write to share… to unite… for in feelings only all mankind relate.”

I could go on and say so much more but you know what… Write for whatever reason you want to write… Whether it’s a selfish act or an act of ultimate sacrifice! Just write…

Pour your heart and soul on paper… Be kind to God’s Gifts and Treasures and Pay the Checks with a Smile… Cause it’s Worth it… 

And yes yes yes absolutely whine every once in a while but remember whine to the one that will pull you up before you choke on your own tongue…

I think that’s absolutely enough for one night…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s