Dreams…

Dear … ,

Many whisper that when you dream of distant loved ones then you simply miss them and you need to see them as soon as you wake… if you are to keep your sanity that is…  

(and I do miss you though you were never close and never here but I can’t keep myself from  savagely missing you…)

But I beg to differ… you see if they were really loved ones in the conventional sense of the term then you’d just pick up the phone and talk to them… simple as that…

You would text… mention in a tweet… tag in a face book status… drop them a message in their face book inbox… hell you may even send an email while you’re at it! 

But to dream of someone so intensely and with such continuity then what you want you can’t experience while your eyes are fluttering open and for you to get what your heart strives your eyes need to close… you can only kiss these lips and touch these hands in dreams…

Some say when you’re so close to a soul, when they have consumed you completely heart, soul, and mind… the only place that’s left for them to occupy is dreams…

But a mother feels her baby’s pain even if he’s a thousand miles away… a father trembles for his daughter’s agony and son’s tragedy a thousand miles away… a lover yearns with lust for his love a thousand miles away…

Your subconscious is a funny trouble maker… you… all of us keep it trapped under lock and key as much as we consciously can… but when we close our eyes, we give in we surrender and we give up willingly to what we so deeply crave and need… we find our selves yearning for empathy and intimacy not sweat and lust… we find our lips moving and forming sentences and we can’t quite make out the words but we speak…

You keep visiting me in my dreams since I kept you under lock and key… I didn’t really you know you still survive and rise above me, my conscious, above the ashes of my heart… you always rise and I don’t know any more if that’s my own stubbornness or it’s just my intuition that keeps pulling me back in and telling me to hold on a bit longer… just a bit.

Telling me that maybe when you dream, you dream of me…

Some things we just know we deserve and I deserve happiness, even if it’s just a glimpse… Even if there is no real happiness on Earth and it only exists when granted by the God of the heavens in the sky above… 

For now I’m gonna settle for once… I’ll learn to love whom love me and I’m not a soul that looses hope never was and never will be… and of all… love is some thing I shall never be hopeless in…

May be Love is just a Dream Away and May be I do need to rise above you but let’s just take it one a step at a time shall we…

Hate is not some thing I can ever hold for you that I learned the hard way… May the moon shower you with glory on this weary night… and may you see the sweetness of tomorrow and let go of the bitterness of yesterday… but above all may you learn to love whom love you too… May your water reach the heart that is drying out of drought for you… 

Even if it’s not me…

Love even if it’s not me…

Cause you know what… Happy you deserve to be!

Love,

Marwa

Xs and Os

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Game Out! (At least for Moi)

All I’m asking you is to take a leap of faith with me, to leave the door open just a crack for the impossibly possible to tip toe in… Will you please? For me? Won’t you do that one and only favor for me? Your eyes will witness what you thought can’t be possible… Every girl falls at least once in her life time for that one guy who chooses every tramp or good for nothing or simply harmless annoying gal that he comes across over her, right? Story goes like this by the time he wakes up and smells the roses she (us) are long gone. By the time he gets his head around the FACT that she (us) are his one and only or true fit or that one poor yes poor soul who is insanely in love with him enough to put up with him till he finds God or Salvation or his BS purpose in life or whatever fucked up fancy shmanzy he needs to find we leave we move on. It takes us a while but we move on and God it takes him ages too to figure it out… But I’m different, we’re (I have no right to say we though) different, I don’t want to move on… I don’t want to go on… I don’t want to sleep with another or kiss a random misguided soul so he can help me swift swiftly away from your eyes grasp once and for all or even for a little while… I don’t. I want YOU.