Starting from the Middle

Thing is I am much too lazy to write my diaries, but I have wanted to take down notes about certain days for like forever. Call them memoirs, call them bits and pieces that help me keep my own sanity, call them what you wanna call them. If not for them and me occasionally listening to “Silent Night”, I would lose it. They are mostly written in journals I carry with me around, so I’ll try to get them typed and posted regularly (my regular has a very irregular manner, that’s just a heads up). I have a terrible memory and I think I have lost enough days so these are not really the beginning it’s more of an initiative for a fresh start. I do give up easily but I’ll try to bore you too much for your own sanity this time. 

When I’m scared, I run. When I’m overwhelmed, I run. When I’m in agony, I run. I run. It’s what I do best. Didn’t say it was good or well or even right. It’s just what I do. I wonder around my beautiful Cairo, going where I never went and listening to the people I never would’ve given a second thought and I keep walking till my legs ache and can’t carry me any more.  Then I go Home, wherever that is in that specific time of my life and I cry myself to sleep. I cry, for everything I’ve seen, everything I never will, and everything I am running away from. I wake up the next morning and do it all over again till I not feel better or healed, till I just have acquired enough energy from my sweetheart Cairo to walk again through life. In the final day, Cairo always makes me promise to come back and she promises me that she is always here for me. That she will send me just the right person to say all the things I need to hear and that I never knew I even needed to hear. Cairo is the only lover that stays, my love for her is immortal, for she is beautiful and I am beautiful through her eyes. 

Here we go…

P.S Even when it’s too cold outside for angel’s to fly, Cairo says, “My people’s hearts are warm and worn just come out love  and you won’t feel the cold any more.”


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