When I was ten I got away with stealing cookies, skipping chores, and telling a “bad” man that he was BAD in the face.
When I was twelve I got scolded when I ate too much (as mum started thinking I should start watching my weight), taking out the trash and the dishes were an absolute MUST, and I got glared at when I said NAUGHTY!!!
I did get away with running around the house like a Mad girl though, going out whenever I wanted, and I still enjoyed as ridiculous as it sounds minimum amount of PRIVACY.
Then fourteen came I had to keep my manners in mind as I was growing up to be a “young lady” so, no running around the house for me,
“Be Polite Young Lady”,
Knee beside knee “Keep your legs closed, do not put one leg on top of another”,
and “For Goodness sakes lower your voice”.
“Whose that boy?”,
“That’s my best friend, Daddy, we’ve known each other since we were toddlers”,
“Well you ain’t going out with him alone”,
“Don’t Daddy me, that’s a direct order young lady”,
with that went going out whenever I wanted with who I wanted.
“What the Fuck?”,
“Mind your language young lady”,
“That’s my laptop, Fuck that’s my email”,
“God Damn it, your language” ,
and my privacy went with the wind.
Of course no one suspected me having a boy friend “that young”, so me and my first love went where ever we wanted whenever we wanted (as ironic as it is Daddy was more worried about my friends who were boys then my actual boy friend). There was my grades of course I still could get away with an F and Report Cards such fragile things in the face of forgery!!! Last but not least I still could pull a mini skirt on and get out of the house without a metal detector and 2 security guards aka. mum and dad feeling me up and down.
Yes yes yes sixteen. Let’s just say that as I get older the amount of things I can actually get away with is most definitely getting smaller and smaller. I can not squirm a phone call from under my mother’s nose any more and of course my parents strict unconditional belief in parental supervision on any technological interactions. The no Boys around the house is extended to car, club, and outings. But then what you can’t know can’t hurt you! Now grades get sent by email and dismissal letters to my home’s mailbox. You don’t want me to go into clothing, make up, and hair really you don’t.
From sixteen on something changed call it a girl who was shown the way, let out, call it whatever you wanna call it. I woke up and I wasn’t that little girl any more, something snapped. Now I have always been a rebel always but right then and there I just knew that there were things that if not gone through with now, they probably never will take place.
So I just decided to take the hard way and it hadn’t gotten any easier since. I have stories by the stack, all nice, pretty and mad as hell. I am gonna put them in a book one day. But me knowing that I have enough stories for a book doesn’t make the living now any easier.
It’s hard but I like to think it’s worth it, I like to think so, to convince myself so.
I carved my motto unto stone “Never be it too late to do a thing. Do what needs to be done. What you feel that must be done. Now before the clock strikes it’s time up. Let your heart lead the way, your soul pave your path, and your faith light your sky along the way like fallen stars”
Then nineteen came and I decided to be crazier then I ever was. I thought you only were seventeen once but it turned you you really are nineteen once 😉 But then I didn’t get a kick out of TWENTY just yet.
No one could ever did know how to change me, but in that area I wouldn’t know how to change me even if I wanted to ^_^
Maybe I am just a Girl like no other and maybe there are tens and thousands of gals like me. Girls who want to settle down yet just want to be free. Girls who are BOLD enough to say Fuck and whose cheeks redden when they are on the verge of receiving a cute compliment. Girls that when love give it there all, yet have enough insecurities and issues to drown Titanic all over again. Girls like me. Gals just like me.