Odds and Ends on MY Way HOME

Lovers come and go. Period, that’s how they are and that’s how they will always be. 

We always prefer to see the story from a forever always prespective but deep down we know that it’s not meant to be and this is not the person I want to wake up beside every morning for eternity but the real question is…

If we know and we do know better then why do we let ourselves go? why do we allow our hearts to be broken time after time?

I think its hope continuous faith that things will change that this time it will be better that we will give it our all and life will work it out ……….Well life doesn’t work anything out thats not its role it just makes matters more complicating. People work things out for themselves or if you are an actual human being you work things out for the people that matter to you too.

Sooooooooo, Whats wrong with us? What the hell is wrong with me ? Oh god I bring it on to myself then I say stubbornly no regrets Gosh screw me I  regret stuff all the time its just for show God its  just for show. When am I going to stop hurting myself dont people do enough of that to me already? Its like I am fishing for troruble in a sea of pirranahs…

So is it a matter of age? Am I too young to figure things out for myself? But I figure stuff out all the time for just about everyone from the janitor to my mum and I know what the problem is I just dont seem to be able to find a solution for it, or maybe I dont want to maybe I like being miserable all the time I prefer a messy life then no life at all horrific drama then to actually wait for someone to make me HAPPY. Isn’t that what you are supposed to be when you are in love Happy…

And, Is this love at all or Am I just  in Love with the Idea of being in Love? Or Is it just making terrible choices time after time?

Everytime I have this illusion that this is it then I wake up to this disasterous nightmare of a broken heart ,a lost soul,a box of napkins and endless tears. People never get what they deserve Good people end up with really bad ones and well poposterous jerks from either sex end up with people so sweet, so perfect that it can almost bring tears to your eyes ='( I am not jeleous or anything i am just stating FACTS.

Soooooooooooooooo Where is salvation ? Is there even such a thing as SALVATION? Should I care if there is? well you know I dont anymore I am going to try to change and give it my all and keep hoping because thats the only thing that I have HOPE Its becoming my middle name =) I have to have faith in tomorrow and myself. I will get through I will find my way HOME just you wait and see I will.

Marwa Arafa


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