You and Her and Me

You’re hers I know, your love to her is true of that I’m sure.

You’re hers and you’ll never be mine, never ever, I know.

Yet I came to you today because I needed thee, as you were my only hope to achieve a dream of mine, a challenge my only hope.

I stood before your eyes, you didn’t dare look me in the eye, and I couldn’t face yours either.

You shrugged me off tried with all your might to finish that awkward moment, to end the conversation to make me go away as fast as possible.

And I couldn’t talk my tongue was tied and I couldn’t argue or explain. I couldn’t talk and no I didn’t forget what I came for I just lost all ability to communicate.

You won, I left and tried to explain my point in front of more friendly eyes that comfort me.  

Your eyes used to do that comfort me but now I can’t look into them you won’t let me and I don’t dare to.

He comforted me, he always does. Yet I asked myself was I right or wrong to let it all out it seemed right yet now it seems so wrong.

It just stripped me from every guilty pleasure I used to have I wanted to give you a gift to make you smile before you slept at night and I made myself miserable.

I made myself miserable.

In the midst of all the chaeous, rain and unexpected thunder in my life I can’t get over the fantasy of you.

The thing is I never fantasize of you being mine I love her too much to do that even in my fantasies.

What I do fantasize about is your eyes the way they gleamed and no one saw them twinkle and no one noticed why they do but me or at least I think so. I like to think that no one but me did but I know she does, I know.

It is said that the more you know, the more you know you don’t know, how true is that. I might add and the more you convince yourself you don’t know too.

I know she thinks I’m back around to try to take him away but how wrong is her for he will never leave and I can never live with my concious if I ever do. So to square one we go back.

Like always right where we began we land. Right where we began we almost always land.

Square one simply means I love you for reasons I can’t verbally explain and that you can only see in my eyes and since you refuse to look in them any more, you shall never know.

Square one is old lovers coming back, new dates lining up and all I can think about is you.

Square one is me in love with you and you in love with her and she in love with you.

Square one is  me in pain, her in worry and you in confusion.

In square one we stay with no way out in the far or near horizon. Its you and me and her………..

Marwa Arafa


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