Sucker for Lost Causes

Stop lay still, listen. Can you hear me ? Can you ? Just lay still and listen. Lay still in the face of my love.

Don’t make me force you to listen, to feel my ache, my need.

Listen, I tried to yell, I tried to scream.

Who said love makes you stronger, for I am on my knees.

I tried to move on, I thought I was ready to fall, I sort of did.

I thought I was ready to love and I sort of started to.

I thought I was ready to let go just a little that the ache and want was getting easier, well I was mistaken all I want is YOU.

I don’t want you as a lover (actually I do), I just want you close please, I need you…

I know you think I am crazy and that I am just a little lost girl, in many ways I guess I am. But does it matter !!!

To me no and I know that, actually I don’t know a thing.

That’s probably why I need you. I don’t know a thing just that I love you.

No childish love. I just know that I love you. 

That’s all I know. I want you here and I need you now.

I am sorry for intruding for ripping your world apart. I am so sorry.

Sorry for barging in unexpected but I am not sorry I love you.

I am not sorry I love you. That I ain’t sorry for.

I am not going to apologize for the way you make me feel.

I am not going to apologize to you for making me want you.

I just need you here even as a friend and I don’t promise that I will and can tolerate you being here and not at the very same time… but it’s better than nothing.

I have issues, I am a mess, I am a walking disaster a disgrace.

But I am a mess that loves you.

A strong mess, one that survives hurricanes with a smile on her face.

A mess you would like in your life no matter how and who she is in your life.

A mess worth having and putting up with.

A mess that will kiss you to pieces if she’s mad at you and complain of you to you.

For since you are her saviour it would be useless to complain to anyone else.

Not too young and not too inexperienced for she knows more of this beautiful world than you.

A mess that is messed up in every sense of the world but knows one FACT that she loves you.

A keeper, one you will never regret letting in your life.

A heart that has shed many tears yet never cried for a man ever.

Truly cried I mean, even when they leave or cheat or double cross.

Only tears she shed for men were childish tears of frustration.

Not tears of pure want and desire.

Not a sad what did I do for the world to do to me this mess, a good mess.

A proper mess, a mess that loves you today, will love you tomorrow and loved you yesterday.

A once in a lifetime mess, a mess to remember, a mess that you will miss and crave for without ever knowing its true taste.

I am a mess but I am a mess that LOVES YOU.

Truth is by the looks of it I am not the only mess that does and you deserve better much better but I can’t help myself.

I can’t keep me from wanting what I want and loving who I love… even if I tried.

A sucker for lost causes yup that’s me.

They say when you get your heart broken time after time, you hide it away in fear of losing it once and for all, well not me.

Every time I hit a brick wall, I start bleeding each time I bleed more and the ICU if it was given a voice it would scream to the world save that girl from her own stubborness.

But its not stubborness its hope.

Hope that when I find love it will heal it all.

Heal everything and everything will seem so small.

But I can’t find love now and I am falling apart and for now I need you.

Just for now, come to me. I begged and pleaded, spare me what’s left of my dignity and come to me.

Marwa Arafa

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