Since there are no mirrors around I am waiting yet to be FOUND!!!

I didn’t think there were so many broken hearted girls in the world other than me, of course.

Well there are A LOT more than you can ever imagine they’ve fallen down so many times you couldn’t even walk a day in their shoes.

They’re bruised, scarred, and some things in them are broken beyond mending.

Some days they’re busy as a bee and others they refuse to get out of bed.

They’ve lost hope so many times, yet never gave up on tomorrow.

They are there everywhere if you only knew but you don’t you shrug them off, use and abuse them.

Then leave them behind and never look twice.

They are the best mothers for your children and they are the best lovers you can ever find.

But do you take the time to look twice no you don’t you leave, you break them to pieces and have them loose faith in everything that made them THEM then you simply leave.

Shame on you and shame on us because we fall for guys like you time after time.

But you know what we can love, we know how to love, while you’re incapable of loving even YOU.

We act like your mother, we love you like a perfect lover, we have your back like the best of friends and we take your hand and walk you through the darkness and rain and what do you do YOU WALK AWAY.

Too scared of letting go, too scared of loving, too scared of becoming heart broken and breaking our own hearts in the process.

Well you know what we pity you, we really do, through our tears and the ache deep down in the soul of want and need we shout it will pass though then we feel with every breath that our time is closer than ever.

But it does pass and we do move on.

We love again, we let go again and we get torn to shreds again time after time.

But we get up again and we love just one more time hoping it would be our very last time, wishing, hoping and crossing fingers because we’re just trying to find our way HOME.

Some say home is where you feel safe, others say its where your love is, Jo Dee said its where you lay down your soul.

Opinions vary but simply home is good, home is what people search for there whole lives and look for it so hard most of the time ending up not finding it at all, other times they end up catching a glimpse of it in one stage of their lives.

Home is where the heart is, Home is the one place we seek refuge in our whole lives.

The path might be full of pebbles and stones, we might end up being even more messed up then when we began to look for it but we keep on searching looking for something more, looking for the ONE, the perfect JOB, the perfect LIFE.

We keep looking sadly most of the time it ends up being right in front of eyes all along right there but humans are stupid that way.

Going out the distance to find what’s right beneath our freaking shoes.

If we let go people end up underestimating us and throwing everything we say against the wall, if we go by the book walk next to the wall and never aim towards the ceiling they like us and feel that we’re harmless and don’t resemble a threat to their master plan of dominance.

Well I’m not here to make you feel safe and sound, I’m here to make me feel safe and sound.

I can only achieve that by aiming higher than the ceiling and even higher than the moon.

No I’m not here for your entertainment and pleasure.

I’m here for my own happiness, my own security, my own pleasure or at least that’s what I keep telling myself every time I fall to pieces on the ground.

But some of us just live to take care of others in hope that one day someone will come around to take care of us.

In time we find out that the one we’re waiting for is US.

Though we come around too late almost always.

We start reassessing our lives, taking a second look at it, seeing what we want and what we don’t but why wait till its too late till its too late to tell the real one I love you or its too late to climb that mountain why?

Why not find out our lost selves NOW? Why not NOW?

Because we’re still lost we claim waiting naively to be found by someone anyone.

Well the only one who is capable of finding you is you.

The sooner you find that out the better. 

Because the only one that is yours the only one you own is YOU.

You only own YOU.

You only love YOU.

We hear a lot of praise but if its not for that certain someone its completely and utterly useless.

We close our eyes and wish the words were coming for his sweet lips and most probably he wants to say them and much more he’s just too scared to let go.

Till when are we going to wait around for the cowards to speak?

Till when will we give them the floor and wait in frustration listening to the ticks of the clock as our lives pass by before us ?

Till when will we be brave enough to wait on the world to change?

Well till it does you might say.

Till he talks.

Till he comes out.

Till he tells me he loves ME and ONLY ME.

We lose our selves, we lose our glory, we lose what makes us truly us, they suck away everything that makes us US and leave us on the side on the road drowning in our blood and pain.

I’m not telling you this and asking you to stop and walk away or know your true worth.

Nothing I can ever say will make you lose hope or faith in him.

I am just asking you to believe in you as hard as you believe in him.

I’m asking you to look in the mirror and say I’m sexy, I’m beautiful and I turn heads every single day.

When the day comes that you just let go you’ll find that there are lonely souls who have been waiting around on you too.

So please just take care and be merciful not to make them wait too long.

Be merciful to them for they believe that you’re they’re HOME just like you believe that he is YOURS.

They might be wrong you’re probably not so right yourself young lady but just keep it in mind that love is everywhere don’t focus so hard on one so as to miss the rest.

Everything is going to be all right and no one deserves your sympathy and compassion more than YOU.

Know that you’re loved that love comes in so many different packages, learn from your mistakes and don’t move on MOVE UP.

Move Up.

Marwa Arafa

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