She is falling, she wants to let go.
She is sane just not silver.
She is too drunk to make out whose carrying her.
But she knows he is no friend.
She tries to make his features out,
she can’t she’s way too drunk.
So she surrenders.
Then suddenly she starts laughing and freaks the hell out of him. The thing is yes just a quote she remembered “You never do see the devil, till its too late.”, but the irony she did and to that she would have a shot of tequila if she was spared one. What happened to the last meal ? She would have a last drink, but no no no not tequila she would need something stronger vodka would cut it, or brandy but old like minimum thirty year old brandy.
So she let go, “Mummy yes I love you too”. When was that yes Christmas when I was eight, “Morning sleepy heads”. “But its early”. “Up up you go”. Leila and me “PRESENTS!!!”. “Brush your teeth, oh dear God”. “But its Christmas”. ” What has Christmas to do with brushing teeth???”. “NOTHING” calling from downstairs.
Nelly Furtado I’m like a bird playing on the radio my aunt coming in with egg yolk and even us the little ones get some in our plastic cups. Mummy dancing with my aunt around the room to Nelly’s song ” I am like a bird, I don’t know where my soul is, I don’t know where my Home is, baby all I need for you to know, I just fly away”. Spreading there arms like wings for they are just like the birds, me and Leila picking up and spreading our wings into the air too and looking up into the sky. I am like a Bird. But I was eight, just eight and I believed I could fly away.
Emily and Leila the unidentical twins that’s what they called us. We were taught to fly real young and when we did no one believed we could, but we dared to. We knew more because we read it all. We knew of love from Jane Austen, Elizabeth Chandler, Georgette Heyer , Virginia Wolf, Emily Bronte, Linon de Lenclos, Louise Erdrich and so many more of course.
We knew of Life because we listened to our elders attentively, they used to say to my mother these girls will grow a hundred by ten. And in ways we did. We heard of war, politics, prisons, concentration camps, courts, legends of heroes who were never known, cowards who made it to the big league, in the end we were taught that life is short yet death is a friend not an enemy.
Death is salvation only to whose life were grand enough to be remembered. We were taught that suicide is just another attempt to dodge the ball that is bound to hit you in the stomach. That only if God calls are you spared. That God is the only messiah. The thing is God calls only his loved children but then aren’t we all really his children and isn’t God great and doesn’t he love us all ?
She managed to struggle a little only to be held tighter and the only thing she could think about is this your salvation Lord or do you want me to face the devil and survive ? Is it my time ? Did you spare me ? Or were my sins burdening me and you wanted to lessen my burden ?
They used to tell us “Act your age you little Weasels! Who are you to speak of Eternity and Love ?”. Like love is only restricted to the old!!!
“I’m cold” she said out loud, he stopped in his tracks took of his jacket and wrapped her with it. So now the demons have hearts!!! A sound inside of her said “More than humans my dear”.
“So you kissed him, shit Emily did you sleep with the bastard too!!!”. “No I swear, no.”. “Why don’t you believe me?”. “When did I ever lie to you?”. “Always Emma, always.”. As he pushed her to the floor and she was knocked senseless, he kept hitting her over and over again, not a sound came out, not a peep. Then suddenly realising what he had done he knelt down and took her into his arms, ” Emma, my Emma, oh what have I done?”. He carries her to the bath tub and opens the hot water and starts taking her clothe off slowly and places her in the tub under the water. She is hardly breathing and the hot water is making it worse she tries to get out yet fails. He takes his clothe off in a hurry and goes in. “Let’s put some of that lavender bubble soap you like so much”. Suddenly she starts bleeding and the water turns dark red and he says, he screams ” Emma Emma what’s wrong ?” she can’t answer. “Emma, little Emma don’t leave me”. She remembers “Daddy where are you going don’t leave me”. She tries to get out of the tub one more time, she is drowning in her own blood. Drowning naked without a thing to shield disaster off, she is naked. She heaves herself up and hangs unto his neck “Get Me Out”. He throws her in “No”. Then all goes black and the last thing she hears is “NO”.
It seems like we have been walking forever. She hangs unto his shirt and manages to get out “Where are we going?”. He smirks “For me to know and for you to find out”. She freaked the hell out of him smirking right back “Why this time ? I never did have a clue where I’m going anyway, everyone seemed to know but me”.
If she ever sees Leila again she will tell her I smirked in the face of the devil. But Leila is gone, she always seems to forget that, in disaster and in laughter. What’s dying anyway I died the day Leila left me. We were supposed to grow old together me and her but she left me, she left me all alone. “I am sorry Memiana I have to go, my time is up”. “No don’t go, I love you”. “Take me with you”. “No you’re time isn’t up yet”. “Some shall live forever Memiana although there lives are very short, they die young yet grow old, Try to be one of them”. “Am I not Lily, am I not?”. “No”. “Lily Lily say something, say something, say something”. “Lily oh God please don’t go, don’t go”.
She started crying out of the blue and the demon halted again not shocked this time just puzzled. “You’re crying”. “I thought angels knew no tears”. “I am no angel”. He threw her to the ground “You ARE”. “Together we shall fly, me and you”. “Though worlds apart, we will fly side by side”. She looked up at him and said “NO”. But he knelt down to claim her anyway.
To Be Continued….